Conan the Barbarian

Netflixed the most recent E. Howard adaptation, the 2011 Conan starring Jason "Doubledogs" Momoa and directed by Marcus "Stegasaurus" Nispel.

You know, when I slid that movie into my DVD slot, I was fully expecting a festival of over-saturated crap the likes of which no mortal eyes have seen. Boy, was it over-saturated. Boy, was it crap. But, all things considered, I very much enjoyed myself.

The plot is balls. The villains have WAY too much screen-time. Baby Conan has WAY too much screen-time. Anybody who isn't adult Conan or his badass pirate buddy (played by Nonso "Jackhammer" Anozie) has WAY too much screen-time. But, for a decent portion of the movie, Conan drinks, pirates, arm-wrestles, slays and don't take crap off no ass. Sure, there's a pasty revenge "you-burnt-down-my-village" plot sloppily inserted from the Schwarzenegger original. (Canonically, Conan came into your village at night and burnt it down. Canonically, he was your favored enemy.) Momoa, despite being kinda a tool, plays an excellent Conan.

Actually, that probably helps.

If you ratchet your expectations to the floor, can appreciate dumb action flicks and are a fan of the original stories, Conan the Barbarian really isn't an awful outing. A qualified yes.

Adventures Abound!

Ocean adventures! The missus and I expedited out to Santa Monica this evening to catch some free grub and splash about in the wintry Pacific Ocean.

Video adventures! Check back at midnight for the next video in a series leading up to the release of the Hull Damage Book Teaser. Midnight! Be here!

Book adventures! Don't read The Somnambulist! There aren't any! Or adventures! Read Conan! There are more adventures!